Many of my female clients come to me because they want to create movement in their romantic relationship. The future with their partner seems uncertain. They want to know whether to stay in the relationship or leave. In most of the cases, the man is unwilling to fully commit although there is love involved. The reason why the men are unwilling to commit is because of fear. Men tend to identify more with the world of form which is constantly in flux because of its basis in fear energy. They are often seeking some sense of safety or security which is impossible to reach when the focus is on the illusions of the material world.
The world of form is not ‘real’ and can never bring true security or safety. The only reality is the truth of Love. Most men haven’t realized this yet. Since they are focused on illusions, they may make choices from a place of fear instead of from love. Their decisions are based in creating more money or success because they mistakenly believe that these things will bring them safety, security and peace of mind. Not so. In their minds, committing to a relationship will negatively affect their search for security & safety in the material world and may even leave them vulnerable to heart break as well.
How do you navigate this situation without losing your mind? You speak your truth with love and compassion then let go. Focus on yourself and feeling good. Because the Law of Attraction brings to you what you feel, you’re ensuring that the best comes to you. Let’s see how to deal with an extreme situation. Let’s say the man you love has decided to move far away in his search of success, safety, and security. The departure date is uncertain. All that is known is that he is leaving at some point and it seems that you are being excluded from the plans. What are your options?
Well, you can start to have what are called ‘attack thoughts’. Thinking things like “If he loved me, he’d be including me in his plans”, “If he loved me, he wouldn’t be leaving.”, or “I can’t believe he’s doing this. What kind of person does this?” Or, you can take the high road and send loving thoughts. “Even though I don’t agree with his decision, I hope the best for him whether or not he and I are together because I know that according to the Laws of Giving and Receiving, I can only keep what I’m willing to give away. So, I give him away in complete trust that there will be a happy resolution to this situation or something even better will come my way.”
This mentality is not an excuse for inaction. Of course, try to resolve the situation to the best of your ability by speaking from a place of love and compassion and seeing the other person’s point of you. A shift in perception can create a miraculous resolution to a seeming problem.
But ultimately, let go of the situation. Attachment, grasping, clinging and holding on to something that seems to be moving away from you is self-defeating. Allow space for the situation to heal or for something new to be brought in. When you practice this state of being, you are also practicing unconditional love for yourself and the other person involved. Although it seems that the other person is being, unkind, disrespectful, self-centered or whatever, you still love the person. Forgive the seeming slights and let go. It doesn’t mean you have to stay in a situation that isn’t bringing you joy and doesn’t seem to be resolving despite your efforts. You’ll need to be still and listen to inner guidance to decide whether to stay or go. I help my clients sort out their energy field and their emotions so that they can reach that place of stillness and hear the still small voice within.
When you practice a loving mindset, you ensure the best possible outcome for yourself. Plus, thinking loving and kind thoughts about others makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re attracting your highest best. In addition, your loving thoughts may even influence the other person’s behavior. This technique isn’t only limited to this extreme case. It can apply to any area of a relationship where fear energy has taken over. See the other person’s point of view with compassion. Practice a loving mindset. Focus on what it is you want and feels good to you. The universe has no choice but to bring to you what it is you focus on so make the decision to focus on love instead of fear.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Let go with the Full Moon
If the New Moon is a time for growth and manifesting then the Full Moon is a time for death and releasing. During the days following the full moon, the moon appears to be decreasing. As it decreases, it takes with it anything that is no longer desired. It is a great time to release that which no longer serves us such as addictions, unhealthy relationships, fear, etc.
For most people, the full moon conjures up images of werewolves, zombies, and other scary creatures. Don’t let this deter you from using the full moon to your advantage. You can however, keep some of the drama of the full moon by using one of the quick rituals/ceremonies below or maybe creating your own. As always, intention is everything. Be clear about what it is you want to release. Start your ceremony from centered awareness. Meditation or prayer may be helpful before beginning the ritual.
Full moon ceremonies typically center on the elements so here are a few quick rituals for working with the elements during the full moon. Write down what it is that you want to release on paper. Then,
Earth - Bury the paper in the ground as a symbol for burying the issues.
Fire – Set the paper ablaze! This destroys the issues. Be safe of course… This works best in the outdoors – not near anything flammable…
Water – Submerge the paper in water until the paper dissolves. This symbolizes the drowning of the issues.
Air – Tear the paper to bits. Take your bits of paper outdoors. Wait for a hefty wind to come along and throw your bits of paper into the wind. This scatters the energy of your issues.
Try to stay upbeat and lighthearted during your ceremonies. I know this is contrary to the vision of full moon ceremonies but light-heartedness carries a higher vibration than seriousness. The higher vibrations will help your desired outcome manifest for you sooner.
For most people, the full moon conjures up images of werewolves, zombies, and other scary creatures. Don’t let this deter you from using the full moon to your advantage. You can however, keep some of the drama of the full moon by using one of the quick rituals/ceremonies below or maybe creating your own. As always, intention is everything. Be clear about what it is you want to release. Start your ceremony from centered awareness. Meditation or prayer may be helpful before beginning the ritual.
Full moon ceremonies typically center on the elements so here are a few quick rituals for working with the elements during the full moon. Write down what it is that you want to release on paper. Then,
Earth - Bury the paper in the ground as a symbol for burying the issues.
Fire – Set the paper ablaze! This destroys the issues. Be safe of course… This works best in the outdoors – not near anything flammable…
Water – Submerge the paper in water until the paper dissolves. This symbolizes the drowning of the issues.
Air – Tear the paper to bits. Take your bits of paper outdoors. Wait for a hefty wind to come along and throw your bits of paper into the wind. This scatters the energy of your issues.
Try to stay upbeat and lighthearted during your ceremonies. I know this is contrary to the vision of full moon ceremonies but light-heartedness carries a higher vibration than seriousness. The higher vibrations will help your desired outcome manifest for you sooner.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Manifestation: Creating Real Life Magic – Part 1
Manifestation is the process of consciously creating new opportunities and situations in your life. You can manifest helpers, romantic partners, money, or even more time – just like magic. There is no limit to what you can manifest if you start with a clear heart, mind and intentions.
I first learned about manifesting in the spring of 2007. I had gone to the Psychic Eye Bookshop in Sherman Oaks, CA looking to schedule an appointment with my usual psychic advisor. She happened to not be available so I took a chance on a spiritual counselor named Mary Beth Murphy. My meeting with her was fated. That single meeting changed my life and put me on the path that I am on today. She gave me an angel oracle card reading that was astonishingly accurate and detailed and also taught me the basics of manifesting. I am very thankful to her for introducing me to a new way of seeing the world. And, for introducing me to the work of Doreen Virtue who has since become my mentor.
Marybeth explained to me that Universe is waiting to hear from us. Every month during the new moon, we get a chance to plant “seeds” (our desires). As the moon grows, our seeds grow. Her instructions were to get clear about what it is I wanted and be very specific. Write down everything on paper in an affirmative way. For example, instead of writing “I want a boyfriend”, write “I have a wonderful boyfriend in my life now.” On the new moon, set aside some quiet time. Set the intention of bringing the things listed on paper into your life. Read what is written on the paper aloud and the universe will begin to bring these things to you.
Since the meeting with Mary Beth, I’ve expanded on her simple instructions through trial and error and research. I hope to share most of what I’ve learned in this series of posts.
First things first: Awareness
“The foundation for all doing is conscious being. That's the important realization about the question "what about manifesting?" Before we talk about manifesting, before we build some new building or structure, get the foundation first. Do you have the foundation? Don't start building a house without a foundation.” – Eckhart Tolle
In the quote from Eckhart Tolle above, he is referring to a state of presence and awareness. Before you begin to create, it is advisable to look at what you are holding in your mind and in your heart. Create a strong foundation within yourself before attempting to create in the physical world. Our manifestations tend to reflect our inner state so it is possible to unwittingly manifest seeming problems into our physical world. As always, I’m speaking from experience!
There are several methods for balancing the mind and emotions. What works best for me is Ashtanga-based yoga which is a form of moving meditation. I also practice other forms of meditation. Sometimes I practice ‘sitting meditation’ which is Zen-based. Sometimes I listen to one of Doreen Virtue’s many guided meditations. Sometimes I just sit quietly and focus on a specific mantra or color. But, most importantly, I practice self-inquiry. I’ve cultivated enough presence within myself to notice my reactions and patterns. Once I notice them, I ask myself “Why?” “Why did I say that?” “Why did I do that?” “Why am I feeling this?” Inquiry takes us very deep into ourselves and begins to uncover that which limits us. Once the limiting beliefs have been uncovered, they begin to lose their importance which frees up our energy and raises our vibration.
My recommendation is to begin manifesting awareness. Set the intention of wanting to create more awareness and peace of mind. Let the Universe know on the New Moon. Maybe use the following affirmation: “I am aware and at peace now and everyday.” Every morning, as soon as you wake, repeat your affirmation. You will be aware and at peace.
Next blog: What do you desire?
I first learned about manifesting in the spring of 2007. I had gone to the Psychic Eye Bookshop in Sherman Oaks, CA looking to schedule an appointment with my usual psychic advisor. She happened to not be available so I took a chance on a spiritual counselor named Mary Beth Murphy. My meeting with her was fated. That single meeting changed my life and put me on the path that I am on today. She gave me an angel oracle card reading that was astonishingly accurate and detailed and also taught me the basics of manifesting. I am very thankful to her for introducing me to a new way of seeing the world. And, for introducing me to the work of Doreen Virtue who has since become my mentor.
Marybeth explained to me that Universe is waiting to hear from us. Every month during the new moon, we get a chance to plant “seeds” (our desires). As the moon grows, our seeds grow. Her instructions were to get clear about what it is I wanted and be very specific. Write down everything on paper in an affirmative way. For example, instead of writing “I want a boyfriend”, write “I have a wonderful boyfriend in my life now.” On the new moon, set aside some quiet time. Set the intention of bringing the things listed on paper into your life. Read what is written on the paper aloud and the universe will begin to bring these things to you.
Since the meeting with Mary Beth, I’ve expanded on her simple instructions through trial and error and research. I hope to share most of what I’ve learned in this series of posts.
First things first: Awareness
“The foundation for all doing is conscious being. That's the important realization about the question "what about manifesting?" Before we talk about manifesting, before we build some new building or structure, get the foundation first. Do you have the foundation? Don't start building a house without a foundation.” – Eckhart Tolle
In the quote from Eckhart Tolle above, he is referring to a state of presence and awareness. Before you begin to create, it is advisable to look at what you are holding in your mind and in your heart. Create a strong foundation within yourself before attempting to create in the physical world. Our manifestations tend to reflect our inner state so it is possible to unwittingly manifest seeming problems into our physical world. As always, I’m speaking from experience!
There are several methods for balancing the mind and emotions. What works best for me is Ashtanga-based yoga which is a form of moving meditation. I also practice other forms of meditation. Sometimes I practice ‘sitting meditation’ which is Zen-based. Sometimes I listen to one of Doreen Virtue’s many guided meditations. Sometimes I just sit quietly and focus on a specific mantra or color. But, most importantly, I practice self-inquiry. I’ve cultivated enough presence within myself to notice my reactions and patterns. Once I notice them, I ask myself “Why?” “Why did I say that?” “Why did I do that?” “Why am I feeling this?” Inquiry takes us very deep into ourselves and begins to uncover that which limits us. Once the limiting beliefs have been uncovered, they begin to lose their importance which frees up our energy and raises our vibration.
My recommendation is to begin manifesting awareness. Set the intention of wanting to create more awareness and peace of mind. Let the Universe know on the New Moon. Maybe use the following affirmation: “I am aware and at peace now and everyday.” Every morning, as soon as you wake, repeat your affirmation. You will be aware and at peace.
Next blog: What do you desire?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Afraid to Fall
Yesterday, in the midst of an awkward balancing pose, my yoga teacher John said to the class, “You may be feeling shaky right now. It’s just your body. It’s afraid it’s going to fall.”
I was feeling shaky in that balancing pose. But, I had already been shaky when I stepped on to my mat. I had barely slept the night before. My mind was uncontrollable and my emotions had gotten the best of me. I definitely was not living in the present moment. I understood that his statement didn’t only apply to the physical act of falling. I realized that I was feeling shaky not because of fear of a physical fall but fear of an emotional one. I am afraid of falling in love.
I’m a casual student of Zen so I know that something must have triggered this fear in me. After some searching, I’ve come to the conclusion that Hope was the culprit. I recently joined the dating world again with no expectations and a pretty negative attitude. I expected to continue to feel nothing but I’ve actually begun to feel hopeful. I’m hopeful that love is closer to finding me than I’d previously thought. So, this hope thing triggered some fear in me. It seems that my mind and body remember the other times I’ve hoped for love and not attained. They associate hope with failure and pain now. This is why I’ve been thrown off balance.
If I’ve learned correctly, the key to resolving this issue is to go deep into the pain. I just need to sit with these feelings until they disappear completely. I’ve been hurt many times. We’ve all been hurt. We all have wounds that we’re trying to protect and in protecting those wounds from further hurt, we may inadvertently hurt others. I’ve gone through the process of forgiveness and have forgiven most of those who have hurt me knowing that the pain inflicted was always about them and never really about me. I’ve yet though to forgive myself for the role I played in the hurts of the past. It’s time to work on that now.
I believe that people come into our lives as teachers. They act as mirrors to show us what we need to change or let go of in order to find the peace we all desire. I also believe that we all have soul mates - not just one, but many who are here to help us achieve our highest potential. Some of them are romantic soul mates and others are platonic. I’m hopeful that I will find one of my romantic soul mates sooner than I think. I’m looking forward to an enlightened relationship centered in trust, compassion and freedom. Despite the fear of falling, I’m staying open to possibilities. I’ll try my best to not color the present moment with the sins of the past or project into the future. It may be challenging at times, but that’s why I’m here – to learn and to be challenged.
I was feeling shaky in that balancing pose. But, I had already been shaky when I stepped on to my mat. I had barely slept the night before. My mind was uncontrollable and my emotions had gotten the best of me. I definitely was not living in the present moment. I understood that his statement didn’t only apply to the physical act of falling. I realized that I was feeling shaky not because of fear of a physical fall but fear of an emotional one. I am afraid of falling in love.
I’m a casual student of Zen so I know that something must have triggered this fear in me. After some searching, I’ve come to the conclusion that Hope was the culprit. I recently joined the dating world again with no expectations and a pretty negative attitude. I expected to continue to feel nothing but I’ve actually begun to feel hopeful. I’m hopeful that love is closer to finding me than I’d previously thought. So, this hope thing triggered some fear in me. It seems that my mind and body remember the other times I’ve hoped for love and not attained. They associate hope with failure and pain now. This is why I’ve been thrown off balance.
If I’ve learned correctly, the key to resolving this issue is to go deep into the pain. I just need to sit with these feelings until they disappear completely. I’ve been hurt many times. We’ve all been hurt. We all have wounds that we’re trying to protect and in protecting those wounds from further hurt, we may inadvertently hurt others. I’ve gone through the process of forgiveness and have forgiven most of those who have hurt me knowing that the pain inflicted was always about them and never really about me. I’ve yet though to forgive myself for the role I played in the hurts of the past. It’s time to work on that now.
I believe that people come into our lives as teachers. They act as mirrors to show us what we need to change or let go of in order to find the peace we all desire. I also believe that we all have soul mates - not just one, but many who are here to help us achieve our highest potential. Some of them are romantic soul mates and others are platonic. I’m hopeful that I will find one of my romantic soul mates sooner than I think. I’m looking forward to an enlightened relationship centered in trust, compassion and freedom. Despite the fear of falling, I’m staying open to possibilities. I’ll try my best to not color the present moment with the sins of the past or project into the future. It may be challenging at times, but that’s why I’m here – to learn and to be challenged.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Accepting our Limitations
Acceptance begins with presence. It begins with witnessing our emotions and our thoughts. On Saturday, I attended a particularly challenging advanced yoga class. We were asked to come into some inversions that required a great deal of strength, control, balance and focus. Not many students could complete the poses. But still, a few were able to. I compared myself to those few and began to create my hell. Hell begins in the mind then begins to manifest in our physical lives. I began to think things like “I should be able to do those poses. I don’t belong in this class.” I almost immediately began to feel weak and lost the will to finish the class. I even considered not returning. This is what the mind does to us.
Thankfully, I was still aware enough to witness my thoughts and emotions so I understood that they were not ‘me’. I didn’t identify with them. When the class was over, I allowed myself to fully feel the emotions while remaining observant. I didn’t stuff the emotions down or try to ignore them. I sat with them. Within the hour, I was done with them. I accepted my limitation for the day. I was free. The light of awareness dispelled the darkness. Had I not sat with the emotions, I could have remained in darkness. I may have quit the class or allowed the emotions to fester until they snowballed into something bigger like an illness or a depression. Every thought or emotion I observe instead of identifying with brings me closer to freedom.
Yoga has helped tremendously with my increasing ability to stay present (or conscious). I am beginning to gain control over my mind. Control of the mind is the main focus of yoga. I am a fan of both Zen Buddhism as taught by Osho and Yoga Philosophy so when Osho combined the two I knew I’ve been on the correct path. Here is what Osho says:
“Mind is there with everyone. The possibility of darkness and light both are implied in it. Mind itself is neither the enemy nor the friend. You can make it a friend you can make it an enemy. It depends on you -- on you who is hidden behind the mind. If you can make the mind your instrument, your slave, the mind becomes the passage through which you can reach the ultimate. If you become the slave and the mind is allowed to be the master, then this mind which has become master will lead you to ultimate anguish and darkness.”
“All the techniques, all the methods, all the paths of yoga, are really concerned deeply only with one problem: how to use the mind. Rightly used, mind comes to a point where it becomes no-mind. Wrongly used, mind comes to a point where it is just a chaos, many voices antagonistic to each other contradictory, confusing, insane."
“These sutras of Patanjali will lead you step by step towards this understanding of the mind -- what it is, what types of modes it takes, what types of modifications come into it, how you can use it and go beyond it. And, remember, you have nothing else right now -- only the mind. You have to use it.”
“Mastery of the mind is yoga. And when Patanjali says "cessation of the mind", this is meant: cessation as a master. Mind ceases as a master. Then it is not active. Then it is a passive instrument. You order, it works; you don't order, it remains still. It is just waiting. It cannot assert by itself. The assertion is lost; the violence is lost. It will not try to control you. Now just the reverse is the case. How to become masters? And how to put mind to its place, where you can use it; where, if you don't want to use it, you can put it aside and remain silent? So the whole mechanism of the mind will have to be understood.”
Thankfully, I was still aware enough to witness my thoughts and emotions so I understood that they were not ‘me’. I didn’t identify with them. When the class was over, I allowed myself to fully feel the emotions while remaining observant. I didn’t stuff the emotions down or try to ignore them. I sat with them. Within the hour, I was done with them. I accepted my limitation for the day. I was free. The light of awareness dispelled the darkness. Had I not sat with the emotions, I could have remained in darkness. I may have quit the class or allowed the emotions to fester until they snowballed into something bigger like an illness or a depression. Every thought or emotion I observe instead of identifying with brings me closer to freedom.
Yoga has helped tremendously with my increasing ability to stay present (or conscious). I am beginning to gain control over my mind. Control of the mind is the main focus of yoga. I am a fan of both Zen Buddhism as taught by Osho and Yoga Philosophy so when Osho combined the two I knew I’ve been on the correct path. Here is what Osho says:
“Mind is there with everyone. The possibility of darkness and light both are implied in it. Mind itself is neither the enemy nor the friend. You can make it a friend you can make it an enemy. It depends on you -- on you who is hidden behind the mind. If you can make the mind your instrument, your slave, the mind becomes the passage through which you can reach the ultimate. If you become the slave and the mind is allowed to be the master, then this mind which has become master will lead you to ultimate anguish and darkness.”
“All the techniques, all the methods, all the paths of yoga, are really concerned deeply only with one problem: how to use the mind. Rightly used, mind comes to a point where it becomes no-mind. Wrongly used, mind comes to a point where it is just a chaos, many voices antagonistic to each other contradictory, confusing, insane."
“These sutras of Patanjali will lead you step by step towards this understanding of the mind -- what it is, what types of modes it takes, what types of modifications come into it, how you can use it and go beyond it. And, remember, you have nothing else right now -- only the mind. You have to use it.”
“Mastery of the mind is yoga. And when Patanjali says "cessation of the mind", this is meant: cessation as a master. Mind ceases as a master. Then it is not active. Then it is a passive instrument. You order, it works; you don't order, it remains still. It is just waiting. It cannot assert by itself. The assertion is lost; the violence is lost. It will not try to control you. Now just the reverse is the case. How to become masters? And how to put mind to its place, where you can use it; where, if you don't want to use it, you can put it aside and remain silent? So the whole mechanism of the mind will have to be understood.”
Friday, September 24, 2010
Accepting What Is
The cycles of nature and the universe are a great teacher if you look at them from an elevated perspective. The cycle consists of birth, growth, decay, death & rebirth. It is seen in the changing of the seasons and also in the expansion and contraction of our universe. I have witnessed this cycle in my life during brief moments of detachment. I have a tendency to want to speed up, slow down or even stop parts of this cycle. It is challenging for me to accept the cycle as it is. I struggle against the natural flow. I try to change what is. I try to change the unchangeable. This is one of the main causes of my suffering.
I am conscious enough now where I can witness my tendencies. By bringing awareness to the tendencies, they are subsiding. Eventually the tendencies will disappear because darkness cannot exist in the light of awareness. The less I struggle against the flow, the more room I have within me for Peace and Trust. I can begin to trust that life is flowing in the right direction and everything I need to accomplish during my time here on the planet will be accomplished. “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
I am conscious enough now where I can witness my tendencies. By bringing awareness to the tendencies, they are subsiding. Eventually the tendencies will disappear because darkness cannot exist in the light of awareness. The less I struggle against the flow, the more room I have within me for Peace and Trust. I can begin to trust that life is flowing in the right direction and everything I need to accomplish during my time here on the planet will be accomplished. “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
Purpose of this blog
Over the course of my life I’ve been gathering bits of wisdom from Psychology, Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, New Age beliefs, Yoga Philosophy & Greek Mythology among others. I’ve been keeping what resonates with me and discarding the rest. Maybe discarding isn’t the correct word. It’s more of a filing away for later use. I’ve found that ideas that didn’t ‘make the cut’ into my personal philosophy straight away, ended up being integrated later. Maybe I wasn’t ready at the time. Maybe I didn’t have enough personal experience to truly understand. So, my personal philosophy is constantly evolving. The deeper I go within myself, the more I understand about the nature of life and my purpose on the planet.
This blog serves as a forum to record my thoughts and flashes of insight or enlightenment regarding spiritual teachings and spiritual truths. It is a way for me to work through these ideas and solidify them within myself.
This blog serves as a forum to record my thoughts and flashes of insight or enlightenment regarding spiritual teachings and spiritual truths. It is a way for me to work through these ideas and solidify them within myself.
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